Years later, as I prepare for my own child's first parent-teacher conference, I realize it's much more nerve-wracking to be the parent than the kid. What if my child isn't doing as well as I hoped? What if he's not making friends in class? Will the teacher think I'm a bad parent? If this sounds like you, relax!

According to Francine Ballan, principal of Greenacres School in Scarsdale, New York, the purpose of these conferences is for the teacher to meet with you on a regular basis to discuss how you can help your child do his or her very best in school. The teacher is not there to put you on the spot, but rather to make your child's school experience a positive one.

Just as the teacher must prepare for the conference, so should you. Here are some ideas for how you can get the most out of your parent-teacher conferences this year.

1. Talk to your child before the conference.
   Ask your child what she would like you to discuss at the meeting. One strategy is to say, "I'm going to be meeting with teacher; what will she tell me?" Your child's response will give you ideas for what to discuss with the teacher. If your child responds, for example, that the teacher will say she is terrible in math, or that she talks all day long, then you should address these issues in the meeting.

2. Ask questions.
   Come to the conference with a list of questions regarding your child's academic and social issues, as well as questions about the teacher's philosophy. Some good questions to ask may include:

• What are my child's strongest and weakest subjects?
• What can I do from home to extend my child's learning at home?
• Is my child working up to his or her ability? If not, what can we do to change that?
• How well does my child get along with classmates?
• How do you evaluate my child?
• How can you challenge my student if he is excelling? How can you support my child if he is falling behind?
• What is your homework policy?

3. Share information about your child.
   Teachers need your help as they educate your children. And no one knows your child better than you. Bring to the conference sample work that you'd like to discuss, or if it's an early-in-the-year conference, bring work from last school year. The more you share about your child—both her strengths and weaknesses—the better the teacher will successfully meet her needs.

4. Raise issues of concern.
   Plan ahead of time how you will raise issues of concern. When expressing concerns be tactful, but not so much that you don't communicate the problem clearly. Listen to what the teacher has to say in response to the problem. Then work together to find a solution.

5. Take notes.
   Take notes during the conference so that you remember everything the teacher says. After the meeting, review your notes. If something is unclear, schedule a follow-up meeting with the teacher to clarify.
6. Make the most of your time.
   Conferences are usually scheduled for a half-hour. Make the most of your meeting by arriving on time. Try not to bring babies or young children to the meeting as they can cause distractions.

So, how much of the conference should you share with your child? Francine Ballan recommends only telling what is helpful, focusing as much as possible on the positive aspects. It's essential that your child understand that you and the teacher are there to support him and to make his school experience the best it can be.