Members of the so-called “Bad News” gang were spotted near a 45.0 meter cliff, high above the
Payroll Express train track yesterday, and they appeared to be “up to something,” said officials
at the Center for Train Safety.
This is the third time in as many weeks that the “Bad News” gang has allegedly tried to stop and rob
the Payroll Express. By releasing a boulder from atop the high cliff so that it lands right in front of the
train at the precise moment the train is below the edge of the cliff, the gang expects to make off with a sizable
amount of money.
“It’s a mystery to me,” says train safety Officer Delta V. Plotter, “how these rascals know how
many seconds to wait before they let the boulder go. They must be able to tell how far away the train is when they drop it!”
Early this morning, witnesses reported spotting some members of the gang spray-painting one of the train rails white.
Although investigators have declined comment, the white rail appears to be situated exactly 100.0 meters “up-track”
from the cliff, a telltale sign that the gang is planning another robbery.
Engineer Ima Constant runs this part of the rail, and she supports keeping the trains running. “It’s mighty important
to keep your speed constant on this here stretch o’ track. So, I keep this engine movin’ at a pace of 20.0 meters per second.
No slower, no faster.”
The train company has issued a statement that they will not be driven by the “cowardly acts” of the gang. The train will
leave the station, bound for the cliff today at its regularly scheduled time.
From: Choo Choo News, Volume 1
